


you can't even accept yourself

by gannonic



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: M/M, fucking rip carlos, xmen au bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 22:33:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12118632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gannonic/pseuds/gannonic
Summary: Carlos got the unfortunate part of the X gene





	you can't even accept yourself

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HylianFishFood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HylianFishFood/gifts).
  * Inspired by [heaven is empty, for all the angels are here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12123321) by [HylianFishFood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HylianFishFood/pseuds/HylianFishFood). 



> theres like. an entire au spanned off this thats been discussed throughly with me and my friend [zoe](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/feltgoodinc)
> 
> carlos has rogue like powers only with a 99% more death rate and chads like angel with wings only somehow a shittier boy
> 
> u can like,,, check out our new [chadlos blog](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/carloscharming) if you wanna ask about the au or just share ur headcanons or just chill
> 
> [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/chadlos)

Carlos is laying in bed with you, but you aren’t cuddling. He’s about a foot away, scrolling on his phone, and it would be so easy to reach out and take him into your arms. You wish you could, but you know that will result with Carlos panicking about how you  _ might’ve  _ brushed his cheek with your elbow.

You often daydream about what you would be doing in a world without the X gene. You would probably still live with your Dad, for starters. You would sneak Carlos in through your bedroom window late at night, then giggle and kiss and hold each other tightly. Carlos deserved to be loved and touched and  _ kissed _ , because you know that his powers came in before he was ready for anything to do with dating.

Your hand twitches and almost reaches over to grab his gloved one (he wore a full outfit at all times, and you’ve seen his shoulders about once), but it stays where it is when Carlos looks over at you.  

“I’ve found it,” He says softly, locking his phone and tossing it on the bed between you both.

“Found what?” You ask, prompting. Your hand inches closer, and he ignores it. 

“What they call the way I feel about you,” He mumbles, and you stare expectantly. Gosh, was Carlos finally learning some resemblance of romance? “It’s called ‘suicidal love’.”

Oh. That didn’t sound good, not at all. “And uh… what’s the definition for that?”

“When you love someone so much you can’t live without them,” Carlos hums a little, like he didn’t just say one of the most romantic things you’ve ever heard. It was messed up, definitely, but so was Carlos and you are  _ almost  _ used to his lack of will to live.

“That’s- uh, wow, okay. You really feel that way?” You stare at him, unbelievingly. You never really thought you would ever meet a boy you could love like this, especially not with the  _ wings  _ you have. 

Carlos’s lips turn up in a slight smile, and whenever he looks remotely happy he’s so gorgeous. “Of course I do. Chad- shit, I just… I know I don’t really…  _ know  _ how to say how much I love you,” He swallows thickly and pushes himself up, sitting crossed legged on your bed. “But I do. So much, and I’m a shitty boyfriend because I can’t even hold your hand properly, but- you’re the best thing in my life. And I hope you know that.”

There’s definitely tears in your eyes, and they're definitely happy, and you don’t  _ care  _ and you grab Carlos’s face and give his the best kiss you can.

And it  _ hurts.  _ It hurts so much, like the time you superglued your fingers together and tore the skin clean off, only it’s  _ everywhere  _ and it’s  _ inside  _ you. Barely even two seconds since you’ve made contact and Carlos is shoving you back roughly, trembling with his eyes wide. 

“Chad! What the fuck!” He doesn’t move, doesn’t check to see if you’re alright. Which is okay, because you’re fine, just ready for a long nap. A really long one. Your body is still ringing in pain but it’s stopped, and your stomach twists and if you had anymore energy you’d probably be emptying the contents of your stomach. 

You head shifts, and you see how veiny and white your hands have turned. Oh god, if your entire body is like that, it better go back to normal fast. Your gaze shifts to your boyfriend who quite literally has part of your soul, and you wonder if he would be prettier with wings than you are. 

Carlos is still staring you, eyes wide and angry and scared, and you manage an exhausted version of your usual charming grin. “Worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> way to go chad deal w ur traumatized boyfriend by traumatizing him more


End file.
